How to move on?

I have been considering and making strides to move back into the work force. What that means is that I am being forced to go back to work. Not by my wife but by financial pressure and the need to complete my degree before I die. I have loved being at home with my kids and i didn't even know it. I admit that at times I wished that I was anywhere but here. My wife has voiced the same opinion. I thought she was joking. Maybe that was a hint. I don't know because I turn a blind eye and deaf ear to that sort of sarcasm. I am also so socially inept at this point, from lack of adult conversation,that I do not recognize sarcasm. Do you think she was serious??? hmmmmmm....

Anyway, I know that I wasn't born to be a SAHD for my entire life. Most times I felt as inept as a one legged man in a ass kicking contest.I mean I felt like I just didn't possess the necessary attributes for good parenting and nurturing of my offspring. Who does; Super Nanny? Sorry but Joe Joe doesn't even have kids of her own. So, how can I put any stock in that. I mean as a kid I watched the Brady  Bunch and thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Kids come together from two different sperm donors and make a happy family. They did have a maid and Mrs. Brady didn't have a job. Mr. Brady was secretly gay and Mrs. Brady was hitting on Greg during the Hawaian episode. Dang even my childhood idealism is being crushed. Where have all the heroes gone? I think they went back to work and put their kids in childcare for 14 hour and $100 a day. I hope I am not headed that way. It really does make my heart ache to think about leaving.

Sigh !!!