Hi People,
Okay so my wife told me this wonderful story about how her coworker described sleeping with her baby daughter. I will paraphrase of course. Coworker said that she started to sleep with her daughter as an infant. She would hold her close and enjoy her warmth and gentle breathing as they both fell asleep. Then a few years later her daughter would sleep with her but only holding hands while they fell asleep. Shortly there after her daughter would only let her mother touch her fingers while they fell asleep. Then the daughter moved into her own bed and the coworker cried because she misses her. *Sigh*
Okay, so this is a touching story although overly romanticized. I too love my children and want to be with them as often as I can. When I was separated from my first wife my 3 kids would sleep in my California King Sized bed with me. (I know this is very controversial to many parents and child psychologists.)We would watch Veggie Tales, read to each other , pray and then fall asleep. They were small and I was smaller back then as well. Still there was territorial issues with my two boys as to who would sleep in the middle. I solved it by me always sleeping in the middle. My daughter was the oldest so she fell asleep at the foot of the bed. Eventually,after being kicked by her brothers for a while she moved to her own bed.Then we had to make room for my new wife. I have to admit that there were some advantages of having my wife sleep with me rather than the boys. Like, she didn't kick or pee the bed. Still I missed the boys and read to them in there room every night, falling asleep on the floor many nights. So, there I was not sleeping in my bed, the boys in their own and my wife in our own. Hmmm..is this what they mean by the 'family bed'? (Dad sleeps on the floor?)
Oh well skipping 10 years down the road and the boys and my daughter are teens and have no recollection of having ever slept in my bed. They deny it ever took place. So, how did it work to bring my family closer? I don't know. Yet is seemed right at the time and now we are doing it again with a 3 yo. I don't know how long it will last because he kicks harder than I remember any of my other three. Also, let's face it who is going to remember it anyway? I will be old and forgetful before it comes around and my kids are sleeping in their beds with my grandkids. Of course they will be doing what they feel is right too.
Friday, March 11, 2011
How to move on?
I have been considering and making strides to move back into the work force. What that means is that I am being forced to go back to work. Not by my wife but by financial pressure and the need to complete my degree before I die. I have loved being at home with my kids and i didn't even know it. I admit that at times I wished that I was anywhere but here. My wife has voiced the same opinion. I thought she was joking. Maybe that was a hint. I don't know because I turn a blind eye and deaf ear to that sort of sarcasm. I am also so socially inept at this point, from lack of adult conversation,that I do not recognize sarcasm. Do you think she was serious??? hmmmmmm....
Anyway, I know that I wasn't born to be a SAHD for my entire life. Most times I felt as inept as a one legged man in a ass kicking contest.I mean I felt like I just didn't possess the necessary attributes for good parenting and nurturing of my offspring. Who does; Super Nanny? Sorry but Joe Joe doesn't even have kids of her own. So, how can I put any stock in that. I mean as a kid I watched the Brady Bunch and thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Kids come together from two different sperm donors and make a happy family. They did have a maid and Mrs. Brady didn't have a job. Mr. Brady was secretly gay and Mrs. Brady was hitting on Greg during the Hawaian episode. Dang even my childhood idealism is being crushed. Where have all the heroes gone? I think they went back to work and put their kids in childcare for 14 hour and $100 a day. I hope I am not headed that way. It really does make my heart ache to think about leaving.
Sigh !!!
Anyway, I know that I wasn't born to be a SAHD for my entire life. Most times I felt as inept as a one legged man in a ass kicking contest.I mean I felt like I just didn't possess the necessary attributes for good parenting and nurturing of my offspring. Who does; Super Nanny? Sorry but Joe Joe doesn't even have kids of her own. So, how can I put any stock in that. I mean as a kid I watched the Brady Bunch and thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Kids come together from two different sperm donors and make a happy family. They did have a maid and Mrs. Brady didn't have a job. Mr. Brady was secretly gay and Mrs. Brady was hitting on Greg during the Hawaian episode. Dang even my childhood idealism is being crushed. Where have all the heroes gone? I think they went back to work and put their kids in childcare for 14 hour and $100 a day. I hope I am not headed that way. It really does make my heart ache to think about leaving.
Sigh !!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Terror and Toddlers
Hi People,
Okay so I am an experienced parent. I have 4 children and I should know better. However, today I had a flash back of 13 years.Today I was taking a shower and my Dave was watching Dora. I was upstairs 10 mins max. All doors were locked and bolted. Windows were shut and locked. The dog was on attack mode. However, when I cam down stairs to reassure my poor little munchkin that he was safe and not alone, panic struck! He wasn't there! The dog wasn't talking. "Okay" I said to myself stay calm he has to be here somewhere. Now I know that a toddlers favorite game is to run and hide. My son calls it the " I hides" game. Usually it is someplace obvious and you laugh to yourself thinking that YOU will play it up and HE will get a kick out of it. By the way, I have a theory that this "game" is really a defense mechanism that has kept toddlers alive for 10's of thousands of years. I mean if you can't find them, then it is unlikely that a predator would either. Anyway I digress. This time I didn't have to play it up. I really couldn't find the little sucker. Oh, and he is QUIET. Hardly breaths when he knows you are looking for him. I started looking patiently KNOWING that I would find him in a flash. Well, the flash passed on my 3rd trip through the house. I was in pure panic mode.
So, now this takes me back to 13 years ago when my son Mark was just under 3. It was the middle of winter with like 8 inches of snow covered with ice on the ground. In the middle of the night I usually would wake up spontaneously and check on my sleeping babes. I couldn't find him. I checked my bed and his sisters. No sign of him. I ran around the house at 3 am turning on lights and looking everywhere. Then I checked the doors. My front door was unlocked for some reason. ( I had teen steps living there at the time.) So, I bolted outside and around the house bare foot in nothing but my shorts. Then the neighbors house too. Nothing and nowhere was this kid. I even checked the crawl space in the basement. (Crazy huh?) So, I went up stairs to tell his mom that couldn't find him. I thought better of it and decided to sit down and try to think rationally before I called the police and FBI. While walking to sit on the end of the bed I feel something firm under the comforter on the floor with my foot. Just bumped into it. So, I lift up the comforter and there he is tucked under the end of the bed fast asleep. Needless to say it took several hours before I got back to sleep.
Flash forward to today. Needless to say that nothing of what I learned 13 years ago crossed my mind. I ran outside with just a towel around my house and the neighbors. I was calling his name and bringing attention to myself. ( Looking back I am embarrassed but it will pass.) I run back in the house calling his name upstairs and down and the celler and the Bilco doors. Nothing. I walk back upstairs to the couch and sit down. He sneaks up behind me and laughs. Yeah he laughed!!!! He survived the hugs and kisses that followed and will be 3 in November.
What is the moral to this story? Don't panic your kid will be fine? Well, that's crazy, everyone panics when there kid is in mortal peril or kidnapped. Even if he is just hiding under the lamp table in the living room with a pillow in front to conceal him. Maybe, cave parents shouldn't have played this game, then there wouldn't be a bunch of hiding toddlers giving their parents strokes. No, by natural selection they would have been eaten by predators 10,000 years ago.
Okay so I am an experienced parent. I have 4 children and I should know better. However, today I had a flash back of 13 years.Today I was taking a shower and my Dave was watching Dora. I was upstairs 10 mins max. All doors were locked and bolted. Windows were shut and locked. The dog was on attack mode. However, when I cam down stairs to reassure my poor little munchkin that he was safe and not alone, panic struck! He wasn't there! The dog wasn't talking. "Okay" I said to myself stay calm he has to be here somewhere. Now I know that a toddlers favorite game is to run and hide. My son calls it the " I hides" game. Usually it is someplace obvious and you laugh to yourself thinking that YOU will play it up and HE will get a kick out of it. By the way, I have a theory that this "game" is really a defense mechanism that has kept toddlers alive for 10's of thousands of years. I mean if you can't find them, then it is unlikely that a predator would either. Anyway I digress. This time I didn't have to play it up. I really couldn't find the little sucker. Oh, and he is QUIET. Hardly breaths when he knows you are looking for him. I started looking patiently KNOWING that I would find him in a flash. Well, the flash passed on my 3rd trip through the house. I was in pure panic mode.
So, now this takes me back to 13 years ago when my son Mark was just under 3. It was the middle of winter with like 8 inches of snow covered with ice on the ground. In the middle of the night I usually would wake up spontaneously and check on my sleeping babes. I couldn't find him. I checked my bed and his sisters. No sign of him. I ran around the house at 3 am turning on lights and looking everywhere. Then I checked the doors. My front door was unlocked for some reason. ( I had teen steps living there at the time.) So, I bolted outside and around the house bare foot in nothing but my shorts. Then the neighbors house too. Nothing and nowhere was this kid. I even checked the crawl space in the basement. (Crazy huh?) So, I went up stairs to tell his mom that couldn't find him. I thought better of it and decided to sit down and try to think rationally before I called the police and FBI. While walking to sit on the end of the bed I feel something firm under the comforter on the floor with my foot. Just bumped into it. So, I lift up the comforter and there he is tucked under the end of the bed fast asleep. Needless to say it took several hours before I got back to sleep.
Flash forward to today. Needless to say that nothing of what I learned 13 years ago crossed my mind. I ran outside with just a towel around my house and the neighbors. I was calling his name and bringing attention to myself. ( Looking back I am embarrassed but it will pass.) I run back in the house calling his name upstairs and down and the celler and the Bilco doors. Nothing. I walk back upstairs to the couch and sit down. He sneaks up behind me and laughs. Yeah he laughed!!!! He survived the hugs and kisses that followed and will be 3 in November.
What is the moral to this story? Don't panic your kid will be fine? Well, that's crazy, everyone panics when there kid is in mortal peril or kidnapped. Even if he is just hiding under the lamp table in the living room with a pillow in front to conceal him. Maybe, cave parents shouldn't have played this game, then there wouldn't be a bunch of hiding toddlers giving their parents strokes. No, by natural selection they would have been eaten by predators 10,000 years ago.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Tortoise Humping
Hi People,
Took my boy and wife to Cape May Zoo for some family time last Saturday, August 28,2010. It is a great place to bring the family for a small donation, 1-3$ maybe. It was a great time with Dave (my boy) running away in the crowd and thinking it is hilarious. He like the monkey, alligators, giraffes and other "wild animables". Anyway, we went to the reptile house and saw all the cute snakes, lizard, frogs and especially turtles.
When we got to the tortoise exhibit we heard an odd sound. Sounded like nails on a chalk board. However there was also the deep heavy breathing with a loud grunt at the end. ( Some may have made this sound before while making babies.) So, we look in the pen and see a 500lb tortoise in a 69 position. The 300lb female was on the bottom and wasn't having any of that. She turned her butt around to show him how it is done in Galapagos Islands. That made the sound of nails on a chalk board sound even louder. People were swarming to the tortoise pen like it was a Beatles concert. ( I do have video and a pic and will post it ASAP.)
So where was I. Oh, She turns 180 degrees with this big humper on top and get jiggy wit it. In no time at all it was over and they headed to their tiki hut for some R&R.
Dave oblivious to all this which made it even more funny. We just said they were scratching each others backs. I have to tell you that this was one of my favorite family outing since Walt Disney Safari where the elephants were "scratching" too. Only elephants have a 6 ft pole that is quit unnerving. I felt bad for both females on these occasions. They took so much heavy abuse for 30 secs. of nothing. You human ladies have it better I hope.
Well, that is it for now. I need to text someone to get the video for this blog. It isn't too graffic and made my laugh til I cried. My sides hurt for a day or two after.
I hope Dave doesn't suffer any emotional scars.
Took my boy and wife to Cape May Zoo for some family time last Saturday, August 28,2010. It is a great place to bring the family for a small donation, 1-3$ maybe. It was a great time with Dave (my boy) running away in the crowd and thinking it is hilarious. He like the monkey, alligators, giraffes and other "wild animables". Anyway, we went to the reptile house and saw all the cute snakes, lizard, frogs and especially turtles.
When we got to the tortoise exhibit we heard an odd sound. Sounded like nails on a chalk board. However there was also the deep heavy breathing with a loud grunt at the end. ( Some may have made this sound before while making babies.) So, we look in the pen and see a 500lb tortoise in a 69 position. The 300lb female was on the bottom and wasn't having any of that. She turned her butt around to show him how it is done in Galapagos Islands. That made the sound of nails on a chalk board sound even louder. People were swarming to the tortoise pen like it was a Beatles concert. ( I do have video and a pic and will post it ASAP.)
So where was I. Oh, She turns 180 degrees with this big humper on top and get jiggy wit it. In no time at all it was over and they headed to their tiki hut for some R&R.
Dave oblivious to all this which made it even more funny. We just said they were scratching each others backs. I have to tell you that this was one of my favorite family outing since Walt Disney Safari where the elephants were "scratching" too. Only elephants have a 6 ft pole that is quit unnerving. I felt bad for both females on these occasions. They took so much heavy abuse for 30 secs. of nothing. You human ladies have it better I hope.
Well, that is it for now. I need to text someone to get the video for this blog. It isn't too graffic and made my laugh til I cried. My sides hurt for a day or two after.
I hope Dave doesn't suffer any emotional scars.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
College Stinks
Hi People,
Taking my little girl to college. I can't believe the cost of just traveling and toting the things to a college dorm. I guess I am a lucky one with having only a 6 hr drive and in state travel. I have no idea how people in this economy are able to take their children any further. The federal and state funds don't cover moving expenses , unless there is something I don't know. If there is something the colleges don't know anything about it. They just say, "you are accepted so just get your butt here." I know that I am not the only one in this situaltion. I don't expect a free ride. However, I am a veteran of 10 years service. Doesn't that count for something?
This just adds extra stress to the fact that your child is going away for the first time. This isn't summer camp. I don't need to worry how she will be getting things back here again. I will at a minimum have to do this 8 times. It will be more like 10; in that most kids today do 5 years. This hads another 5- 10 thousand dollars to the stress of paying for college itself. Someone tell me any possible solutions. Any advice would be appreciated. It seems like it is the blind leading the blind. I know that the college isn't going to have any useful advice.
Taking my little girl to college. I can't believe the cost of just traveling and toting the things to a college dorm. I guess I am a lucky one with having only a 6 hr drive and in state travel. I have no idea how people in this economy are able to take their children any further. The federal and state funds don't cover moving expenses , unless there is something I don't know. If there is something the colleges don't know anything about it. They just say, "you are accepted so just get your butt here." I know that I am not the only one in this situaltion. I don't expect a free ride. However, I am a veteran of 10 years service. Doesn't that count for something?
This just adds extra stress to the fact that your child is going away for the first time. This isn't summer camp. I don't need to worry how she will be getting things back here again. I will at a minimum have to do this 8 times. It will be more like 10; in that most kids today do 5 years. This hads another 5- 10 thousand dollars to the stress of paying for college itself. Someone tell me any possible solutions. Any advice would be appreciated. It seems like it is the blind leading the blind. I know that the college isn't going to have any useful advice.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Working out/excercise with a child
Hi People,
Just a quick note. Exercising while caring for a child might seems redundant as you are exhausted at the end of the day. So, visa vie you must have had some exercise?! Then how is it that you are gaining weight. Diet may be one of the answers. A steady diet of: Peanut and Jelly, ice pops, chocolate,potato chips, cake, pizza and happy meals might have something to do with it but no. I mean you see a child eating whatever they want and still they appear to be in great shape. They have boundless energy and even their body fat decreases as they become toddlers. They may have a little round belly but the rest of them has no flab and there is no butt. My toddler wears 3T and his pants fall down. Maybe it is just the cut of the pants but I don't think so. They have a tiny waste literally no butt. So, how come my butt and gut ( B and G) seem to be matching as my weight increases. As for my pants I don't even need a belt anymore and I haven't seen my feet in months. So, I must need more excercise.
Now I have back troubles so exercises for me is very limited. That is if I have the energy to get to a gym. Also, if I could get their what will I do with the baby? Fortunately there are gyms with childcare. However, I took my child there twice and he screamed when he went in. I mean a literal melt down. "This is normal" ,they told me. However, I know as an adult that if I did this in a public setting, then I would be in a hospital involuntarily and heavily sedated. So, I am limited to what I can do at home. I could schedule it during his nap time, I thought. When nap time came I found my self laying in bed with him. Doing what? Napping of course!!
So, if anyone has a solution to this situation, then I would really appreciate the input.
Just a quick note. Exercising while caring for a child might seems redundant as you are exhausted at the end of the day. So, visa vie you must have had some exercise?! Then how is it that you are gaining weight. Diet may be one of the answers. A steady diet of: Peanut and Jelly, ice pops, chocolate,potato chips, cake, pizza and happy meals might have something to do with it but no. I mean you see a child eating whatever they want and still they appear to be in great shape. They have boundless energy and even their body fat decreases as they become toddlers. They may have a little round belly but the rest of them has no flab and there is no butt. My toddler wears 3T and his pants fall down. Maybe it is just the cut of the pants but I don't think so. They have a tiny waste literally no butt. So, how come my butt and gut ( B and G) seem to be matching as my weight increases. As for my pants I don't even need a belt anymore and I haven't seen my feet in months. So, I must need more excercise.
Now I have back troubles so exercises for me is very limited. That is if I have the energy to get to a gym. Also, if I could get their what will I do with the baby? Fortunately there are gyms with childcare. However, I took my child there twice and he screamed when he went in. I mean a literal melt down. "This is normal" ,they told me. However, I know as an adult that if I did this in a public setting, then I would be in a hospital involuntarily and heavily sedated. So, I am limited to what I can do at home. I could schedule it during his nap time, I thought. When nap time came I found my self laying in bed with him. Doing what? Napping of course!!
So, if anyone has a solution to this situation, then I would really appreciate the input.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Hotdog
Hi People,
My name is Mark and I am starting a blog about being a Stay at Home Dad (SAHD). SAHD's are special funny guys that love their kid/kids so much that they gave up their career goals for the goal of caring for their child/ren. Or they may be guys, like me, that lost their jobs or became unable to do their jobs or maybe just in between jobs and now care, not "watch" their own child/ren.
I want this to be a chronicle of daily/weekly, okay when I get to it, events as a SAHD. Although I will be posting some things to YouTube for fun and education. These may range from instructional videos, not meant to be copied in real life, of how to diaper a baby to videos that are just random and cute. I chose the name "krayzedad" ,well to be honest, because I am a crazy dad. Usually it is crazy-good as opposed to crazy-bad. None of what I do show should be considered as professional advice for child care. I just want to share my knowledge and experience and hope that someone corrects me. I mean honestly I am a guy so some, okay most, will be wrong.
I posted a video yesterday on YouTube called "Hotdog". It is mainly just me showing my son (2 1/2 yo or 31 mos) asking for and eating a hot dog. Notice that I did cut it for him into nice bites that won't choke my cute little bugger. Pay close attention to how he wipes the ketchsup off on his shirt instead of a napkin. SAHD Hint: Keep lots of Spray-and-Wash or other stain treatment handy. I have a bottle on each floor of my house and a Tide stick in the diaper bagr as I call it my MWMW (my wallet with wipes),how about MW squared, nah. Another note you will be giving up your manly wallet for the bag eventually. Just get used to it. Howefer, I digress.
It seems that I am a bit of a hot dog as well as a crazy dad. So, I think that sums up my intent for this blog and YouTube channel. Where it goes from here I truly haven't a clue.
My name is Mark and I am starting a blog about being a Stay at Home Dad (SAHD). SAHD's are special funny guys that love their kid/kids so much that they gave up their career goals for the goal of caring for their child/ren. Or they may be guys, like me, that lost their jobs or became unable to do their jobs or maybe just in between jobs and now care, not "watch" their own child/ren.
I want this to be a chronicle of daily/weekly, okay when I get to it, events as a SAHD. Although I will be posting some things to YouTube for fun and education. These may range from instructional videos, not meant to be copied in real life, of how to diaper a baby to videos that are just random and cute. I chose the name "krayzedad" ,well to be honest, because I am a crazy dad. Usually it is crazy-good as opposed to crazy-bad. None of what I do show should be considered as professional advice for child care. I just want to share my knowledge and experience and hope that someone corrects me. I mean honestly I am a guy so some, okay most, will be wrong.
I posted a video yesterday on YouTube called "Hotdog". It is mainly just me showing my son (2 1/2 yo or 31 mos) asking for and eating a hot dog. Notice that I did cut it for him into nice bites that won't choke my cute little bugger. Pay close attention to how he wipes the ketchsup off on his shirt instead of a napkin. SAHD Hint: Keep lots of Spray-and-Wash or other stain treatment handy. I have a bottle on each floor of my house and a Tide stick in the diaper bagr as I call it my MWMW (my wallet with wipes),how about MW squared, nah. Another note you will be giving up your manly wallet for the bag eventually. Just get used to it. Howefer, I digress.
It seems that I am a bit of a hot dog as well as a crazy dad. So, I think that sums up my intent for this blog and YouTube channel. Where it goes from here I truly haven't a clue.
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